DAY 1, fair warning, this could bleed on for days.
Did not know how or when I would re-enter society when I fled teaching career in 2009.
Rumor had it I was crazy.
Not unlike when Fairfax, VA teacher diagnosed me ADHD 1977.
Not unlike when Northern VA pediatrician called me promiscuous upon learning I had protected sex with my first love 1987.
Not unlike when Fairfax, VA police man said if I was his daughter, my head would be on my shoulder because he smacked me so hard for my disrespect.
Not unlike when I decided to find my birth family and my adoptive ma thought I was some sort of addict 1997.
Not unlike when SoCal doc diagnosed me bipolar 2000.
Not unlike before/after we fled ma-in-laws house June 2019 when she called me out as rude and mentally ill.
These are common ways racism plays out-people beholden to care see u as crazy, lazy, dumb, evil instead of acknowledging the reality that their life-alienating approach triggers you, for you are grieving profound ongoing loss from systemic racism that delays and obstructs you from developing as you wish, academically - culturally, and breeds more intolerance, hate, violence.
Adoptee changes for nations and families to their delight, yet then 4x more likely to suicide, not to mention lash out, homicide, overdose, flunk out of school, family,society grossly misdiagnosed and mistreated. USA, China, and Russia adopt the majority of planet earth's orphans. It is not just the adoptee that's adopted. we, the People of the USA have "adopted" as "free":
Adoptee changes for nations and families to their delight, yet then 4x more likely to suicide, not to mention lash out, homicide, overdose, flunk out of school, family,society grossly misdiagnosed and mistreated. USA, China, and Russia adopt the majority of planet earth's orphans. It is not just the adoptee that's adopted. we, the People of the USA have "adopted" as "free":
animals, land, Indigenous all tribes, Africans, Asians, Latino, women, handi-capable, diseased, homeless, LGBTQ, Middle Eastern, Palestinian, Jews, "gypsies" of the world, too, including Romany all kumpaniya, so on and so forth (of course, adopt a draft, rough and incomplete, kind of like me).
Perhaps part of re-introducing myself into cut off culture by which I'z orphaned and into which I'z embedded as a BIPOC baby means just dancing around it without actually stepping into it, because people are unable to change their racist ways not because they are evil but rather simply too inundated by loss that has not been treated to even consider life worth living for one and all, they can only think about themself and maybe a few family members who act according to their demands.
So many adoptees have killed themselves or others by this stage of the game, thank u for being so courageous even tho not free, playing to stay alive, tt
DAY 2
Working adoption spirit magic
over tough news we gathered at the doctor's yesterday. Racism festers like warts
within Blacks, African - Romany,
AND the black sheep within each "white" family,
breaking down not just heart, spirit, mind, but also body, health, nervous - immune systems, life worth living. Thanks god for helping us all easily overcome obstructions/delays caused by systemic loss that breeds intolerance, hate, and violence to enjoy robust, joyful health now amen AWOMEN om.
I'z ~4 - 7 first time i "got" a wart on my pointer finger,
reminding me how my adoptive ma freely told me of her Romaphobia without realizing it,
before i started first grade maybe,
decades before I even knew wtf Romaphobia was,
at times she'd tell me how
when we lived in Finland, seeing a Gypsy family used to scare her, for she thought they would recognize me and take me back. She had heard Gypsies don't let their children go.
In her book heal your body the mental causes for the physical illness and the metaphysical wat to overcome them,
Louise Hay describes the probable cause of warts
"Little expressions of hate. Belief in ugliness."
and the new thought pattern as
"I am the love and beauty of Life in full expression."
which reminds me of World Artists' Initiative ~ Khetanes' mission:
to end all expressions of hate, including Romaphobia
W.A.I.K. group to which I have belonged virtually since close to when it began 2010.
Eye take mission so seriously,
I hesitate to say I hate any person, place, thing,
even a wart.
How committed are you to adopt success for one and all while transmuting violence cycles?
Please stop using pandemic, racism, weather, president, as a another reason to hate yet anther person, place, thing, thanks. "We" fought and won wars to end that intolerant, hateful, violent holocaust - slavery
AND I don't want to fight for anything anymore, for even the "good" fight defeats my/our purpose.
the following draft relates to ~time of "my" first wart.
directly after writing,
so relieved to finally "say out loud",
slipping m'self off the stool on which i'd been perched,
apPARENTly accidentally moved too fast wrong way,
breaking my hoo-hah for a spell,
that how root werk goes at times,
barely able to squat and toss "my" water.
sidebar but not,
part of "my" job is to unveil
all the moments/days/weeks/months/years
that I am triggered
by the cut off culture
that abused, neglected, orphaned me as a newborn
AND into which I'z embedded as an adoptee ~4 mo. old.
triggers trigger triggers
this is just one day that is not even over yet,
~ 8 hours to go...
maybe you understand more
how I am not free to roam
family-friend-church-doc-school-lawyer-work/shop-police
AND
how come much of my day is spent
channeling healing treatments to recover from the daily systemic abuse/neglect/intolerance/hate/violence bred by the untreated loss of the others, and the times I fall, doing that, too.
V
V
V
y/our Zero Tolerance law/policy across personal - professional fields parallels great devouring rape, O Baro Porajmos, how Romani refer what others call the Holocaust.
V
V
V
When u turn your back and don't look over here, I still feel your psychic attacks, intolerance, hate, violence. Please stop what u r doing to reconcile thanks.
V
V
V
Until we all learn how to take responsibility for loss daily, the abused, neglected, orphan adopted into same cut-off-culture that abandoned it does the work for us like our little pet slave.
V
V
V
Did you hear about the little girl adopted into USA from Ethiopia, Hana Williams? "She's so rebellious," her mother called the police to come help after she collapsed in backyard from abuse. She passed away 6 years ago, may she rest in peace power and those left behind be comforted and healed, even the loves that killed her.
Hana's Story An adoptee's tragic fate, and how it could happen again. thanks, The Adoptee Times, for sharing.
V
V
V
Reminds me how my mom would get so angry with me "not behaving", scaring me shitless, until I learned to do the same......still I unlearn this affect of untreated loss passed down from my adoptive ma, a left-behind-child herself. Kind of like my then-adolescent-birth-mother whose family-of-5-where-she-was-youngest got so angry with her at being pregnant with BIPOC me
in a nation with past of barring Romany births
she was forced to abandon me to retain family membership.
I love them all so much, I wish I could help,
but I am no longer welcome,
reacting poor to that systemic racism,
I appear/ed crazy creep.
thanks god for healing us all
V
V
V
I know, I been here before,
each time I walk out the house, its in my face again,
so, it is not that I am obsessing
just trying to live life worth living. all that to say again, even though I am not allowed to be disappointed, or mad,
abuse/neglect still hurts daily I "have" to get over that.
Right now it appears that "my" black families are working for tolerance....
while continuing to neglect the cries,
"my" white families holidays,
makes pretty signs about support they cannot yet back up, bagging on or backing up president,
even minor - adult BI/POCS passing as white,
like i was schooled to do for decades,
u know, u hear, u see, u feel,
"success" hinged on fitting in "well" to family - nation.
unless it's not.
This is a start,
learning curves and all,
been there like an amygdala, like right now.
IF ONLY family/nation really chose to adopt success for one and all while simultaneously transmuting intolerant, hateful, violence cycles bred by untreated loss NOT evil,
rather than as stands know where loss is criminalized, and success is violently adopted only for the select few who manage to look act a certain way, like white and civilized.
we have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; we have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry: thanks god for helping us all. Romans 8:15
as far as east is from west is how far transgression is removed from us. Psalm 103:12
V
V
V
Also, I have been informed by loves that declare outright they have never endured abuse, that they depend on those that have, to help them understand more how to tolerate life, and be tolerant of life, even when you know you are going to die.
I remember when I used to make no claims of abuse,
touting common core adoption narrative as I'd been taught,
fitting in that important it seemed,
on top of being led,
like holocaustic Stockholm Syndrome slave.
that superior approach of white privilege,
expecting us dark ones to lead way,
looks and feels like gaslighting.....
perhaps my familyfriends can consume my social media instead of engaging me in platitudes - riotous dialogue/debate, and/or visit to another teacher who is farther along in the personal - professional evolution of escaping systemic racism when they need face-face-back-and-forth.
Meanwhile,
summer school is in session
with Blacks leading lovely, light way,
saving ourselves
because the others lack where-with-all - with-it-ness
to serve on the spot - long term justice on our behalf,
we do this,
WE OVERCOME,
earning free Ph.D.
in tolerance....adoption...free will...on the spot justice...liberty...life long learning...life worth living.....
from where we hide, sit, stand, lay,
Blacks, African - Romany - u-fill-in-blank-here,
even when we die trying,
we overcome,
while getting pummeled verbally and physically,
from our own family/nation - strangers,
while being dismissed - scapegoated,
by "whites", even their "adopted" BI/POCS
with "facts" like
they didn't mean it that way,
they were just doing their "job",
nobody is perfect.
so.... that makes it okay...to carry on alienating life,
even after we ask,
"please stop erasing our lives, please stop misjudging/mistreating us, thanks." ???
No, not okay, not even if you say,
not even if y/our law - protocol says.
This is not a school science fair,
we are not your love puppets.
This is EMERGENCY of epic proportions.
PLEASE STOP THESE LINES INSTEAD TAKE MINE
DAY 3
How come you don't want to include me? systemic racism/abuse/neglect that I endure makes me seem nasty.
What comes before anger? Profound sadness. My birth family with their bio family is running around as if, my adoptive family with their bio son are running around as if, my in-laws withe their bio family is running around as if, my families that adopt animals-babies-culture are running around as if, adhering the cut off culture that orphaned us.
This is not just MY "problem". U.S.A., China, Russia adopt majority of earth's abused, neglected, orphans while adhering to cut off culture that abandoned them initially.
"Anger is energy and energy, like water, needs to flow and be expressed. There are two issues that are problematic around anger. One is where anger is over expressed in judgmental, aggressive and even violent ways. The other is where anger is blocked or suppressed which can create passive aggressive responses to life. "
What makes a hearty parent - president go so wrong and then refuse to change? Amygdala. What's in an authoritarian? Same thing, Imagine if that's how I treated your adolescents in the classroom. You'd have my hide.
I'd never work again.
I don't want your hide, or to stop your "job", I just want to wake up and holocaust - slavery be over, but, no, it's not, just another day I'm carrying your fucking bags, yet another day you are sloughing off your intolerance, hate and violence bred from your untreated loss, carrying on as if you're superior, kicking me and all other "dogs" instead of taking responsibility for your trauma. You've put me in shitty position of doing your work, to be mad enough for all of us. I cannot take it anymore.
It is difficult to forgive and move forward when you keep carrying on as if I don't exist, because you don't want to change your ways for me, preferring to continue to use people, places, things as excuse to hate instead of summoning adoption spirit magic. How come you think this does not apply to you?
Why don't I just walk away, Love? Because that is how I'z orphaned in the first place. Because you are my family and friends even if systemically you act intolerant, hateful and violent towards me.
We have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; we have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry: thanks god for helping us all, even self-selected loves beholden to care but then bailed unable take the heat in the kitchen. Romans 8:15
as far is east is from west is how far transgression is removed from us. Psalm 103:12
It is difficult to forgive and move forward when you keep carrying on as if I don't exist, because you don't want to change your ways for me, preferring to continue to use people, places, things as excuse to hate instead of summoning adoption spirit magic. How come you think this does not apply to you?
Why don't I just walk away, Love? Because that is how I'z orphaned in the first place. Because you are my family and friends even if systemically you act intolerant, hateful and violent towards me.
We have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; we have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry: thanks god for helping us all, even self-selected loves beholden to care but then bailed unable take the heat in the kitchen. Romans 8:15
as far is east is from west is how far transgression is removed from us. Psalm 103:12
DAY 4
~3 days after receiving annual email organizing-but-not (covid 19) adoptive family's reunion, seeing string of responses, I finally, simply shared that as much as I love them all, I cannot entertain, follow, be a party to this family as they stand and move.
What else can I say? I said as much to my in-laws around the time we fled ma-in-laws house June 2019, and various friends, as well. Can I even say that to my maternal Finnish birth family? Do I need to say my paternal Kale/Mustalainen/Black/Finnish Romany(Gypsy) birth family?
At one point since 2009, my adoptive mother authoritatively-informed-me-like-I-needed-to-be-taught-a-lesson: you cannot run away from the world.
I am not running away from the world, Ma, hear that is not what I desire that to in my heart of hearts.
I'm immersing myself in adoption spirit magic, shoring up m'boundaries that systematically been raped since birth, transmuting the holocaustic slavery of adoption into beauty, glory b aleluja, dancing around cut off culture, avoiding: assassination, getting burned, killing myself or somebody else drowning in fighting spirit that initially orphaned me and into which I'z embedded as newborn adoptee.
I've been trying to tell you all since first time I ran away from home in fear of my life age 4, because instead of being able to hear me out, you talked to and treated me with hate in your heart, clenched jaw, grit teeth, angry tone, yelling, "disciplining" me for acting unruly, moving, talking when you needed/wanted/desired to do things other than to tend to me.
"We" literally won wars to put an end to this intolerance, hate, and violence, like Civil War, WWII. Ay-eye-I don't want to fight anymore. Fighting is how I'z abused, neglected, orphaned initially, by mad grandparents disowning my-then-pregnant-with-half-Romany-me in nation with past of barring Romany births.
I don't hate my families, even when they carry on as if we don't exist, refusing to accommodate our please for tolerance, to the point of exclusion, blaming, shaming us as crazy, dumb, lazy, evil.
I forgive, for they just don't know. AND now I learn more how to stay out of way dodging the blows.
Admittedly, I don't want to be excluded so violently, yet this is how it is, so I accept, abide, embrace like a hug, because still we live and that is success. Thanks god.
Adoptee changes for families and nations to their delight, yet then 4x more likely to suicide, not to mention lash out, homicide, overdose, flunk out of school, family, society grossly misdiagnosed and mistreated.
At first, when I tell family friends "the way you think and act can change that stat", they don't believe me, are more attached to their amygdala "thinking" me crazy, lazy, dumb, evil, forgetting that is what Hitler did, and slave-holders. I kin relate, razed the same way. I say "at first" but I'm waiting........
Adoption Spirit Apothecary
Cede my fault and 100,000 welcomes. Visit if u can accommodate instead of expecting the reverse.
Kaale/Mustalainen/Black/FinnishRomanyGypsyme
part of "my""werk" is "play to stay alive".
please don't tell me to refine refine refine thanks
for that superior, holocaustic train of thought underscores the extent of exclusion - slavery to this day;
and that my exercise is to spit it out this shit finally in the first place.
adopt a draft,
rough, incomplete,
kind of like me,
god only knows if this is close to conveyance
and please pardon sarcasm, hate, intolerance, violence,
danger steer clear,
that's my amygdala fearfully reacting to ongoing racism/loss/abuse/neglect.
what? did u think that's who i truly am? there's that erase-ism, racism again. me, too; I kin relate.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
And thank you.
I love you all,
Spirit,
and
Ho'oponopono.
🎪PRE-EXHBITION)
.....abiding flo, at least once a month, and spots here and there might could shuffle through a marathon while bleedn but instead choose to retreat reclaim dignity, vagina, vulva, uterus, womanhood......
Want to be an earthly angel? easy peacey, support folk arts and my traveling tolerance exhibit ( : donate money liberally, minimally, or regularly : )
EXHIBIT A)
There is this catch 22 snafu where people's right to think say and do whatever the fuck they want trumps your right to dignity, equity, justice tolerance. Who do u justify blaming, shaming and leaving behind today? That is another common way holocaust - slavery terrorize to this day.
7 July 2018
nobody is perfect life is for learning top tolerate. I don't want to harsh your vibe, but ADOPTEE-ME, teacher-gone-rogue-for-tolerance, DESPERATE FOR U ALL TO MAKE THESE ACCOMMODATIONS IMMEDIATELY adopt a draft, this is a first draft, first attempt of me saying out loud such things, of course it is not all right, yet at the same time, it is. That is on top of me being delayed, you see, adoption as it stands now (akin to exploitation - racism - slavery) delays/obstructs me from developing as i want/desire/need, academically - culturally. please pardon me, thanks for with-holding judgment and not treating me as if I "should know better" by this stage of the game.
Abandon put downs.
Abandon war stories.
Abandon name calling.
Abandon figurative/literal public beheadings.
Abandon shaming to depose.
Abandon "you-do-not-deserve".
Abandon "you-are-not-worthy".
Abandon media/news shaming another.
Abandon shit talk/walk, not people.
Abandon "you-should-have-known-better".
Abandon "If-I've-told-you-once-I've-told-you-a-thousand-times".
Abandon using children in advertising.
Abandon sharing loves acting out, dogs 2.
Abandon "think-about-the-starving-children-around-the-world".
Abandon "you-should-have-listened-the-first-time".
Abandon "you-should-have-learned-that-lesson-by-now".
Abandon "you-should-be-ashamed-of-yourself".
Abandon ads for plastic surgey.
Abandon "you'll-never-learn".
Abandon demeaning labels.
Abandon comparisons.
EXHIBIT B)
EXHIBIT C)
EXHIBIT D)
8 July 2018 I sense I'm working a 21st century Underground Railroad while most every body else looking at me zero-tolerance-like get-a-job
EXHIBIT E)
EXHIBIT F)
EXHIBIT G)
WHAT PROPAGANDA TARGETS WOMEN TO BE VIOLENT "FOR GOODNESS & JUSTICE"?
The Indian Army uses phrases like "Durga Mata ki Jai!" and "Kaali Mata ki Jai!". Any woman who takes up a cause to fight for goodness and justice is said to have the spirit of Durga in her.[86][87]
EXHIBIT H)
EXHIBIT I)
EXHIBIT J)
So, ancient Greeks, Medusa's dad, Poseidon, raped her in virgin Athena's temple. Athena got pissed and punished Medusa by making snakes grow out her head and giving her such a look that turned those that saw into stone.....
Her son, Pegasus had an "upper birth" out of Medusa's neck when Perseus decapitated her.
.... then "...During World War II, the silhouetted image of Bellerophon the warrior, mounted on the winged Pegasus, was adopted by the United Kingdom's newly raised parachute troops in 1941 as their upper sleeve insignia. The image clearly symbolized a warrior arriving at a battle by air, the same tactics used by paratroopers...." Pegasus Porn
EXHIBIT K)
9 July 2016
Guilt and Shame, one of adoptees biggest issues...identity and intimacy not far behind, mastery and control , o my, loss, grief, last but not least, rejection...belonging is base upon which success is hinged, wondering how to fit in without your support (accompanied with pic of Gypsy Myth Debunked website found in a Google search)
EXHIBIT L)
9 July 2018
FOR SHAME seems to be the theme of most all protests (from dt, terrorism, hate crimes, to me too, to border babies) YET what if this approach actually sabotages adoption of success for it triggers wrong one of the seven core adoption issues GUILT-AND-SHAME, abusively STEALING free will instead of righteously ensuring. I mean, good for you if you ended up a big success with that method but it left a lot of us behind, so, ! I'm just saying, would you change BLAMING, GUILTING, SHAMING approach please for the rest of us? I'm pleaing as an international adoptee. As a teacher*gone*rogue*for*tolerance, I say, don't worry, be happy, no body is perfect life is for learning to tolerate, starting with self TONE HOME go play with yourself now, carry om ![❤]()
EXHIBIT M)
9 July 2018
(totally oblivious to how I am one of these border babies from 1970 AND how her refusal to talk it out with me when i repeatedly requested, to the point we had to flee the house June 2019, parallels what she opposes,)"We should be ashamed of ourselves," my ma-in-law authoritatively stated to me about the most current border baby situation. Perhaps my own international adoptee status was lost on her, as it seems to be on most, tolerance gets all twisted around when we align with fighting good fight, that tough love over unconditional. I managed to find myself calmly denying, explaining how actually that type of thinking sabotages adoption of success virtually 24/7, especially as guilt-and-shame is one of seven core adoption issues. Can you imagine me saying and then retreating to my safe haven as a toddler, play/school years, adolescence, young adult "please don't throw down that wild-card-gone-wrong "should", for the guilt shame, blame method to motivate or teach a lesson actually sabotages adoption of success for one and all in any field thank you."
FFW 2020 I'z thinking today, what if I had been able to communicate to my parents the first time I ran away from home ~4 years old, "you cannot think, talk, or touch me so angrily. that is one reason how come my birth mother gave me away for another family to raise, so I could avoid that systemic abuse/neglect that she received. On top of the fact that "we" fought and won wars for this tolerance , basic human dignity." I managed to change that for my students. Parents can change for the kids. On non-violence, truth, and his 9 other vows, Gandhi reminds, "home is first university and parents are the teaches."
EXHIBIT N)
Just in case you didn't get the news report, While BLM spread from USA to Europe, Romany (Gypsy) on both continents young - old literally and figuratively are getting pounded by police and other people who have so much untreated loss that it breeds within themselves intolerance, hate, violence, not because the Romany actually deserve to die.
follow romanationmovement on instagram.
EXHIBIT O)
on non-violence, truth, and Gandhi's 9 other vows, he reminds "An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind." AND "home is first university and parents are the teachers."
How committed are you to ending all expressions of hate? Try to stop using word "hate". I'm serious. How many times a day or football season are you raging like a hater, setting violent precedent, all in the name of......what again? Come on now, Love, let's focus will, tune in W.A.I.K. my saint
EXHIBIT P)
The way people react to Donald Trump tells a lot about their own untended abuse/neglect.
Donald Trump has not experienced the privilege of calling out the people who systemically abuse/d and neglect/ed him, maybe with the exception of the bully media. Beginning with his mother, who neglected him as severely as his father abused him, and then his teachers, who left him behind abused/neglected some more, to the point he was shipped off to military school for more condoned, systemic abuse/neglect by teachers and U.S.military personnel.
So now he finally sees people are out to get him, because they have been, from the get-go.
Donald Trump is not any more a toxic, mentally ill, narcissist who "should know better" than you/us; he's just another superior unrecovered abuse, neglect victim, in amygdala-mode, acting exactly as we program.
You might encounter more desirous outcomes when you stop abusing/neglecting him like all the others did/do.
I sense many been abused/neglected by family/teacher/military/police but have yet to admit, instead still believing as they were authoritatively told, that they deserved punishment.
So, since they believe that they were a dog that got kicked but "deserved" it, they do the same to others, "kicking the dog", like violently scapegoating DT, feeling just not oblivious.
EXHIBIT Q)
Mother Father so desperate to fit in and belong, love and be loved, s/he got me, and, god bless it, I'm not working.
EXHIBIT R)
you cannot make somebody learn, listen, look...
well, u kin if u submit to the fact that now your amygdala is officially an authoritarian,
but I don't sense that is what u want/need/desire.
EXHIBIT S)
Thanks for making m'heart smile, Spirit n Billy Strings with Sitting in Limbo
EXHIBIT T)
10 july 2016 with pic of apes' zoo placard #ABQBioPark#apes#Huerfanita#orphan#lucky#Mashudu#Jack
EXHIBIT U)
10 july 2016 with pic of adopt a wild child placard #adopt#wild#child#RioGrande#zoo
EXHIBIT V)
10 July 2016 from
Paramahansa Yogananda - For Love of Gurudeva
God is Love; His plan for creation can be rooted only in love. Does not that simple thought, rather than erudite reasoning, offer solace to the human heart? Every saint who has penetrated to the core of Reality has testified that a divine universal plan exists and that it is beautiful and full of joy.
Paramahansa Yogananda
EXHIBIT W)
10 july 2016 Anahita reminded me of gandhi eye for eye quote with a meme.
On non violence, truth, and his 9 other vows, Gandhi reminds, "an eye for an eye will only leave the whole world blind." aND "home is first university and parents are the teachers."
EXHIBIT X)
10 july 2018 with pic of my bun, hair that is...
addict, ADHD, bipolar, crazy, criminal, dumb, evil, ungrateful: just a few ways, historically through time and space, how an adoptee acting out that loss/trauma has been wrongly identified and treated across the globe by professionals - parents. IDENTITY, 1 of 7 core adoption issues, goes hand in hand for this SNAFU with MASTERY-N-CONTROL & GUILT-AND-SHAME, INTIMACY clawing to get in the circle, REJECTION, LOSS and GRIEF stunned senseless wall-flowers. Coming up on 48 years old and seems barely able to care for n speak up for self as adoptee , so I get reluctance to hop on bandwagon , I just hope it doesn't take 40+ years it took me...
EXHIBIT Y)
10 july 2018 with pic of me lying in grass eyes shut after 3 day er/hospital holiday after my body could not stop vomiting from ongoing systemic racism and abuse/neglect pile-up ......
dick-slapped repeatedly by INTIMACY, 1 of 7 core adoption issues, the part where u might look 4 love in all the wrong places even feeling like making out with your own brother or sister, like, u came from same womb, u might feel need to get all up in V there safe sound again; thank goodness my adoption counselor warned me before I met for first time my birth family 1998, for that intimacy, still, it brews regardless of family friend strange love boundary yet now I can detach without shame or shaming...maybe sort of still working on it until I die stick a needle in my eye - no, don't- go play with yourself now carry om<3 span="">3>
EXHIBIT Z)
KJV
Matthew 3:13 1298 The baptism of Jesus The Beatitudes 1299 Matthew 5:14