Abort Mission to Destroy. Transmute Life-Alienating Social Contracts Now.

Triggered by "independence day" that is a farce and people partying on, Garth, anoche "my" amygdala was feeling highly disappointed in family and friends.

That was not fair. And it was.

On one hand, those feelings are fair coming from an adoptee, yet not really tolerated as acceptable, you know how folk want adoptee to have respect, keep secrets, cut birth - adoptive parents much slack, so you really don't hear too much about it, shut down systemically.
But the abused, neglected orphan adopted into same cut-off-culture that abandoned them has valid reason for disappointment, adoption falls in between exploitation - slavery, not "for the best" for baby. While this a large portion of my work, to share the adoptee narrative that gets systemically squashed, I don't want us to get caught all balled up here right now.

On the other hand, those feelings are not fair coming from a master teacher mentor. At this stage of the game, p.o.c. excluded personally - professionally, it turns out I'm not really family or friend to any; I am folk*artist, teacher*gone*rogue*for*tolerance, transmuting life-alienating social contracts.

This is a very sick, global/local familial - societal expectation for abused, neglected, orphan adopted. My family and friends expect me to save them because the common core adoption narrative has taught them that orphans are saved by adoption. I am far from alone experiencing this twisted phenomenon, where it is accepted practice that the child cares for the adult instead of vice versa.

Almost 50 years old now, hearing cries of the world for peace and joy on top of my own, with caution I heed the call to help mother earth and humanity, possessing high hopes "adopted" as "free" animals - babies won't have to endure the holocaust - slavery that still rages even though we won wars for tolerance.

Committed to leave behind no child, not even the ones growing old acting out their amygdala, I don't get to hold onto "being disappointed" in "my" students, even when they alienate and erase life by thinking and acting as if me and the others are dumb - evil - lazy - mean - mentally ill instead of extending on the spot justice in the form of immediate compassion, dignity, equity, tolerance.

I gotta "mind my biz", don't get to project disappointment like all the mother fathers teachers, because the others, they are in too much pain, cannot handle the guilt and shame, too loss inundated, that approach alienated their life, breaks them down instead of building capacity for tolerance.

Stepping with Spirit, overcoming loss for us all, as a folk*artist teacher*gone*rogue*for*tolerance, I choose to slip back in the deck that predictable GUILT AND SHAME card, so we can move forward, adopting new knowledge, aspirations, skills, attitudes, behaviors for life-worth-living, as me, life, my students keep changing here, there and beyond, instead of remaining intolerant, hateful, violent, stagnant, stuck by loss fearfully, grief-struck-by-loss, cycling fight-flight-freeze-fuck.

I learn to see that point of apPARENT student failure as my failure not theirs: a) an entry to extend adoption spirit magic, apology, compassion, understanding, as well as b) a nudge/shove to adjust the lesson plan to fit the "student" at hand, "adult in self-selected positions of power with loss pile-up they cannot even yet verbalize only project onto others, like kicking the dog", me, too.

BUT it is not safe for me to approach, much less hang out with my family - professional. STILL I am not allowed to be disappointed in that racist situation or them. SO excluded, my only option is to work adoption spirit magic from a safe, sound distance, like Ho'oponopono way, doctor healed institution full of "criminally insane" over 2 years without meeting them, only reading their files and then fixing in himself what broke them. Move minds not munitions.

I'M SO CURIOUS how to adopt success for one and all (instead of for only chosen few who manage to behave and appear a certain way) while transmuting violence cycles, autocracy - democracy.


EXHIBIT A)
guess who's name was being erased less than 100 years ago by those beholden to care and help us "adopt""success" for one/all in the "U.S.A."?


EXHIBIT B)
3 july 2020 I don't wanna talk about the president, government, Independence Day celebrations. I wanna talk about we, the people who constitute the system that still leaves behind huddled masses yearning to breathe free. It'd be one thing if the violently intolerant people abusing/neglecting/hating on me were my enemies, but they are my family, friends, community members who also happen to be sweet loves when they are not so bent out of shape by loss. I don't have enemies. Even tho Civil War - WW2 won for tolerance, famfriends feel free to think me/we crazy, lazy, dumb, evil, hater, excluding me/us like it's my/our choice/fault, not that they are acting racist. Adopted into same cut off culture that orphaned me, I was razed to do that too. Working No Child Left Behind and volunteering Southeastern European Decade of Romani inclusion showed me the err of my/our ways. Forgive for they/we know not what they/we do, schooled by amygdala's cut off culture and its fighting spirit to alienate life left, right, front, center, violently adopting success for only the chosen few who manage to behave and appear a certain way, autocracy - "democracy" around planet earth. Thanks god for helping us overcome loss to adopt success for one and all while simultaneously transmuting violence cycles amen AWOMEN om


EXHIBIT C)
How have u been schooled to apply fighting spirit as if it's adoption spirit? Please take responsibility for your loss pile-up instead of kicking dog after dog, stop using person, place, thing as another reason to hate thanks we have won wars about this and don't want to fight anymore.


EXHIBIT D)
4 july 2020 If u wish me a happy 4th of July, that's another simple way how plays out systemic abuse/neglect racism, your desire to party trumps tolerance....recalling declining invite from sis-in-law to go see firework on battleship with her kids , she didn't skip a beat after I explained my reasons, so set on this "activity", couldn't explain why it was more important for her family to attend fireworks on a battleship than to honor me and my point of view as p.o.c abused neglected orphan adopted for more of the same. How do you follow the left behind standard like this, leaving behind one abused, neglected person, place, thing after another just because u don't really have a plan and want to party down with your biological fam?


EXHIBIT E)
4 july 2020 Living in nations at risk since dawn of time on planet earth, earthlings have invested much life, love, space, time, money in the parade-like approach to abandon folk rather than approach in the name of...safety and security.
Would you mind, Love, switching 'approach' for 'folk', for it appears to be having the reverse effect?! Transform y/our "Independence Day" celebration into annual safety meeting where we re-align with love all personal - professional holocaustic-slavery-like social contracts. Maybe transform y/our "Independence Day" celebration into annual safety meeting where we re-align with love all personal - professional holocaustic-slavery-like social contracts; make it a cookout if you must, but without fireworks please thanks Safety Meetings a-dopt a-draft

EXHIBIT F)
Adoptee Gaslighting 102:
adoptee says, "I'm heartbroken; another friend/family left me behind due to intolerance/racism."
you advise after sharing sympathy "You know it's for the best. You are better off without them. Those "haters" were no good for you, anyways, even if they are your family/friend."

EXHIBIT G)
Another Adoptee, Black, Found Hanging, may Amani Kildea rest in power and those left behind be comforted

EXHIBIT H)
adoptee, gypsy, Gypsy, Romany, some times the same, other times, lots of explaining

EXHIBIT I) Rromani Reparations

EXHIBIT J)
Need to belong, be accepted, fades with realization I was born a slave, cast off, adopted to love or die.
~excerpt from one of m'blogs, Gypsy Myth Debunked, 28 June 2020 post titled "Yehka Buliasa Nashti Pe Dui Grastensa ~ with 1 ass u cannot sit on 2 horses"

EXHIBIT K) 
Few folk committed to No Child Left Behind. Most adults over 35 are very committed to leaving behind one perceived unworthy after another.

EXHIBIT L) 
Your "love" is not enough. I am feeling so disappointed in my family and friends, and horrified for their kids under 35

EXHIBIT M)
On non violence, truth and his 9 other vows, Gandhi reminds: home is 1st university and parents are the teachers.

EXHIBIT N)
Just waiting for my family and friends to make the move. Adoptee changes for families and nations to their delight yet then 4x more likely to suicide.


EXHIBIT O)
I am feeling horrified for the abused, neglected animals - babies "adopted" as "free" by USA family friends enduring more systemic abuse/neglect during Independence Day bullshit

EXHIBIT P)
Memorial Day, Independence Day, Veterans Day = when sacrifice turns into a guilt trip that steals free will while demanding u like it.

EXHIBIT Q)