FREE WILL
By accident I heard an evening headline today
reminiscent of proud, authoritative, militarized state of emergency
not a joyful democratic nation of peace
"....Brockton soldiers stationed at Fort Hood..." .
amen AWOMEN carry om
footnotes from m'self to our'selves, Kaale/Mustalainen/Black/FinnishRomanyGypsyme
part of "my""werk" is "play to stay alive and thrive".
part of my exercise is to spit it out,
shit out this shit finally in the first place.
please don't tell me to refine refine refine thanks
for that superior, holocaustic train of thought
underscores extent of exclusion and slavery to this day thanks
adopt a draft, rough, incomplete, kind of like me,
god only knows if this is close to conveyance
and please pardon sarcasm, hate, intolerance, violence,
danger steer clear, that's my amygdala fearfully reacting to ongoing racism/loss/abuse/neglect.
what?
did u think that's who i truly am?
there's that erase-ism, racism again.
me, too; I kin relate.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And thank you. I love you all, and Ho'oponopono.
eye love u, Spirit, thank u for helping me pull the cards included in this post
pre-pre-exhibition) we have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; we have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry: thanks god for helping us all ~Romans 8:15 as far as east is from west is how far transgression is removed from us ~Psalm 103:12
pre-exhibition) on the alchemy of learning.....Every human being adopts relevant knowledge, aspirations, skills, attitudes, behaviors, animals, babies, cultures, etc. for life needed, wanted, desired to overcome each/every loss, as life and that being keep changing here + there + beyond, while dancing with 6 predictable cards: guilt and shame, mastery and control, rejection, identity, intimacy, grief.
EXHIBIT A) Last Call
EXIBIT B) Last Last Call
EXHIBIT C)
Perhaps pandemic 2020 is just the time and space to clean and clear loss from under the carpet,
making room for beyond belief streams of grace to replace, blessed dreams coming true for one/all.
EXHIBIT E)
Please consider redistributing firework & "Independence Day" funds to all abused, neglected, orphaned newborn - elder people, places, things in y/our "community" that we, the People of the USA have "adopted" as "free": animals, land, Indigenous all tribes, Africans, Asians, Latino, women, handi-capable, diseased, homeless, LGBTQ, Middle Eastern, Palestinian, Jews, "gypsies" of the world, too, including Romany all kumpaniya, so on and so forth (of course, adopt a draft, rough and incomplete, kind of like me).
Russia and China, you may choose to follow suit, for the amount of orphans you all adopt.
EXHIBIT G) 27 August 2020 Naïve Folk*Art Exhibition
What a waste my life is. No offense life; it's me. Confronted daily, some times more than others, feeling today the stat that adoptee 4x more likely to suicide, not to mention lash out, homicide, overdose, flunk out of school, family society for being grossly misdiagnosed and mistreated.
SO, tonight's folk art exhibition starts early, ends early, and is an exercise on impermanence: erasing my face that is such a disgrace and was never supposed to be in the first place. watch, u won't notice a thing. Let's see if we can eliminate all of tina b tinari's fb august expressions.
Okay. done deal. still.
my mission on earth remains to be accomplished.
So, how did erasing most of my August 2020 face fit into "LOXXILA"(to make happy, delight), the card which i throw down here weekly? To honor divine, nature, health and flow, I been pussifying life, and that wall of mines was a fucking mess, annoying even my selves.
Even tho intolerable, I'm not canning it or myself, most of Aug FB got logged on blog, so i can sift through once we're in a safer space where I can see clearly everything at once that has unfolded like 52 pickup over the past 11 years since I fled almost everything to save my life during Southeastern European Decade of Romani Inclusion, then direct and map out next steps. Just because I say/write something does not necessarily mean that is my final thought on the matter. Part of tolerance for me is that it takes me time and space to express what we/me/us/me-myself-and-I mean to say. Believe me, I know, fucking annoying, really tests a person's tolerance.
WTF am I taking about? Maybe LOXXILA exhibition is over for this week, mighty night, Love.
Adoption falls somewhere between exploitation and slavery, until that is acknowledged by families and nations, each day I have been left behind to do their work, u know, carry the bags and cry the tears, doing the homework they didn't want to do.