Emotional, verbal rape happen before and/or without physical rape, from the most un/usual suspects, like me when I was a slave and did not even know it.
As a whitewashed p.o.c. finally able to admit more the systemic abuse/neglect endured since birth to this day, now when I simply request family - friends to witness, and they react with comments, emojis, prayers, videos, I see how even those seemingly harmless actions amount to rape, inserting self like a fucking dick instead of silently witnessing like a sealed clam.
I used to do that. Like the sad-gone-mad-amygdala driving the vehicle that was there first, and when you pull out in front of them accidentally, s/he feels justified to speed up to your bumper, purposefully invade already limited space with fighting spirit of cut-off-culture, flip the middle finger, roll the eyes, scream what a fucking idiot u r, all to teach u "your lesson" in the name of ........ (instead of summoning adoption spirit magic, cutting you slack, giving space, thanking god for getting us all where we need to go safe).
This is another common way that erase-ism, racism, systemic abuse/neglect, a-gaping-devouring-rape, O Baro Porajmos, how Romany refer to what others call the Holocaust, fucks us over to this day. Even though legal battles - wars have been won, freedom has yet to be "adopted" for one and all.
adopt a draft, rough incomplete, kind of like me, god only knows if this peace is close to conveyance
You're a mystery, always runnin' wild
Like a child without a home
As a whitewashed p.o.c. finally able to admit more the systemic abuse/neglect endured since birth to this day, now when I simply request family - friends to witness, and they react with comments, emojis, prayers, videos, I see how even those seemingly harmless actions amount to rape, inserting self like a fucking dick instead of silently witnessing like a sealed clam.
I used to do that. Like the sad-gone-mad-amygdala driving the vehicle that was there first, and when you pull out in front of them accidentally, s/he feels justified to speed up to your bumper, purposefully invade already limited space with fighting spirit of cut-off-culture, flip the middle finger, roll the eyes, scream what a fucking idiot u r, all to teach u "your lesson" in the name of ........ (instead of summoning adoption spirit magic, cutting you slack, giving space, thanking god for getting us all where we need to go safe).
This is another common way that erase-ism, racism, systemic abuse/neglect, a-gaping-devouring-rape, O Baro Porajmos, how Romany refer to what others call the Holocaust, fucks us over to this day. Even though legal battles - wars have been won, freedom has yet to be "adopted" for one and all.
adopt a draft, rough incomplete, kind of like me, god only knows if this peace is close to conveyance
footnotes from myself to myself
EXHIBIT A)
Triggers?
Seeing birth/adoptive/in-laws/USA/Finland adhere to cut off culture and its fighting spirit as if its adoption spirit.
Establishing boundaries with friend who also adheres to cut off culture; cut off in response, after informing me how I was misusing "my""privilege", blamed, shamed.
These are some of the ways family - friend sabotage adoption of success 24/7 daily, leaving me behind violently feeling the gaping devouring rape, O Baro Porajmos, how Romany refer to Holocaust.
EXHIBIT B)
29 June 2020 demonstrating lack of safety and inclusion in my life, even on my fb wall, "adopted" friend who made a point to share their lack of systematic abuse/neglect, unfriended me this morning instead of heeding my repeated pleas for tolerance*, not only condoning/dismissing the systemic abuse/neglect I endured since birth until now, informed me I'm cryptic, on top of misusing my privilege.
this is another simple yet complicated way the racism plays out, the other self-selected "to care" and "to help" violently leaves behind the "already-left-behind", cut-off as some sort of dumb, rude, asshole who "should know better".
2020 Census: Kaale/Mustalainen/Black/FinnishRomany~Gypsy me "adopted""free""AmericanUSA", I want to be included without being raped, burned, assassinated, killing somebody else or myself for the gross misdiagnosis and mistreatment, that slavery, that gaping devouring rape, how Romany refer to the Holocaust that trickles down terrorizing effects to this day.
Adoptee Gaslighting 102: "I'm not a racist, you are just a stupid, dumb, crazy, jerk." (*to respect my sensitive boundaries by witnessing without inserting self on my page AND stop thinking about me in such a way that allows such dismissive treatment of me, with such lack of equity, dignity, justice.)
I mean, of course, u all get to think whatever the fuck you want, but really, do u, when it seems like systematically its at my/our expense and exclusion, and the other Blacks of the world, African - Romany, which is not dignified, equitable, liberty, love, joy, justice, peace, tolerance.
how do you really want to think about and treat y/our people in the name of.........
how are you more attached to your thinking than people u consider to be crazy, dumb, evil like Hitler?
How have you been playing fighting spirit as if its adoption spirit?
What exactly is "our" overarching goal?
adoptee changes for nations and families to their delight, yet then 4s more likey to suicide, not to mention, lash out, homicide, overdose, flunk out of school, family, society grossly misdiagnosed/mistreated.
the way u think and act can change that holocaustic stat.
we have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; we have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry: thanks god for helping us all, even the loves cutting us off and telling us its our own faults as a response to our pleas for tolerance. Romans 8:15
as far as east is from west is how far transgression is removed from us Psalm 103:12 amen awomen om
EXHIBIT C)
Like the sad-gone-mad-amygdala in the vehicle who speeds up on your bumper with fighting spirit of cut-off-culture when you pull out in front of them (instead of summoning adoption spirit magic, cutting slack, giving space, thanking god for getting us all where we need to go safe).
EXHIBIT D)
more triggers? so many in one day? hey, I don't program these things as if its "for the best".
1) Seeing AmericanUSA flags woven seemingly almost everywhere while police circulate "America's Home Town" getting ready to celebrate 400th anniversary on "Independence day" ....even though "adopted" as "free" are not really.
Which reminds me, I sense animals and land may appreciate this accommodation most without being able to say. Please consider redistributing firework and "Independence Day" funds to all abused, neglected, orphaned newborn - elder people, places, things in y/our "community" that we, the People of the USA have "adopted" as "free": animals, land, Indigenous all tribes, Africans, Asians, Latino, women, handi-capable, diseased, homeless, LGBTQ, Middle Eastern, Palestinian, Jews, "gypsies" of the world, too, including Romany all kumpaniya, so on and so forth (of course, adopt a draft, rough and incomplete, kind of like me).
2) SPCA minute long radio ad about how with all the extra tine you have on your hands at home with pandemic, social distancing, and all, you should adopt an animal. make use of all that extra time on your hands, make your home more a home, and what a perfect time to train them.
I sense deeply that none of these are valid reasons to adopt, or honor the animal, or any other adoptee for that matter.
3) followed by.....
Gypsy, sittin' lookin' pretty
The broken rose with laughin' eyesYou're a mystery, always runnin' wild
Like a child without a home